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I’m not looking forward to having these crafts come home.
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Cons vs Liberals
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Conservative:I hate welfare moochers!
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Liberal:Do you know corporations are making record profits?
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Con:Good! Nothing wrong with money!
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Liberal:And despite these profits, workers aren’t seeing shit. In turn, the taxpayer subsidizes the worker. Otherwise people will starve and die.
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Con:Lazy workers!
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Liberal:No, you fucking myopic idiot. You’re paying more in taxes because places like Wal-Mart refuse to paying a living wage, even though they very well could. The taxpayer is the moral agent here; the corporation is the moocher that is taking advantage of our desire to not see people suffer and die. That is, they know we’ll prevent suffering, so they line the pockets of a few at the expense of many without fear that this system will ever change.
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In light of Tumblr soon becoming one big giant sponsored ad. I thought I’d get a head start.
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BJ Novak confesses to Museum of Fine Arts prank from 1997
Long before B.J. Novak brought his wit to the little screen as a writer and actor on the hit comedy “The Office,” he and his high school buddies pulled a prank for the ages at the Museum of Fine Arts.
It was 1997 and the big exhibit at the MFA that summer was “Tales From the Land of Dragons.” Like most big shows at the museum, the exhibit featured a self-guided audio tour. Well, that got Novak and his friends thinking.
“We thought, ‘Let’s take a tape, transcribe it with everything on the tour, then make our own tape. And put that tape at the museum.’ So we stole a tape,” Novak said. “The first three minutes of the tape were completely accurate … but about 3 minutes in, the tour started getting a little weird. The guy started injecting his personal opinions. He’d say, ‘Personally I think this painting is a piece of crap,’” Novak recalled, using a heavy, vaguely Eastern European accent and laughing along with the audience.
“Quietly remove the glass and inhale the rich aroma of the paint,” the faux narrator said. “Ah, that is good stuff!”
(via)
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Dick: How was the flight?
Jane:The bathroom in first class had a malfunction and it tore out some guys rectum.
Dick: Wow! That would really suck.
Jane: Yeah the guy was screaming and there was blood everywhere. So needless to say, the bathroom was out of order.
Dick: Yeah, I guess so.
Jane: Well anyway, I had to pee for like the last three hours so I ended up just crossing my legs and squeezing really hard to not pee myself and I think I had an orgasm.
Dick: Really? On the plane? In your seat?
Jane: Yeah. Actually I know I had an orgasm and so then I totally pissed myself.
Dick: No kidding? That happened to me once.
Jane: Really? You squeezed your thighs together for so long and hard you came?! And peed yourself.
Dick: No, I actually shat myself on a greyhound bus outside of Denver.
Jane: And you ejaculated?
Dick: No, I just shit myself. I was reading some new age book about the secret dream life of trees and I had the sudden realization that I was everything and I didn’t need to do anything. I just was. And I began to laugh and cry so hard I shit myself.
Jane: Sounds more like a nervous breakdown.
Dick: No. It was totally cool. Like I was just a human being who had soiled himself. No one seemed to really care. I felt great.
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Me:How have you been stung by so many bees? I've never been stung!
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The Wife:Well I grew up in the country and you grew up in the city. I was stung by bees and you saw a lot of bums.
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He's quick.
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Me:Hey, buddy, put that broom away.
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The Boy:But I want to sweep!
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Me:That's nice, but you've got to get to school. Put it away.
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The Boy:NO!
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Me:Yup.
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The Boy:[outraged] THAT'S NOT FAIR! I'M GONNA SWEEP ANYWAY, MR. SMARTY!
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The Wife:Hey, we don't yell and we don't call people names.
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Me:[taking it and turning it] No, that's ok. I kinda like that. I'm pretty smart. Mr. Smar--
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The Boy:I SAID 'FARTY'!!
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Adventures in misplaced advertising. (found through)
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There are worse views to be net with right outside your front door.
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Philosophizing Fabio/Yanni Dog asks the tough questions.
