The Meme Generation | Spanking detrimental to children, study says

Spanking detrimental to children, study says - CNN.com

For the most part it’s people that were themselves spanked as one year olds.

It’s a self perpetuating problem that we’ll be a very long time ridding ourselves of, if we ever do.

Which sucks.

Spanking in general I don’t agree with. (The argument I usually hear is “Well, my parents spanked me and I turned out alright.” To which I reply, “No you didn’t. You turned out thinking it was ok to hit children.”)

But…a 1-year-old? Really? I realize the article says one aspect is the education level of the parents in question, but I can’t fathom not realizing that a child that young isn’t an adult with whom you can reason.

One of the best pieces of advice I received before Bryce was born was to just know this: Babies cry. Period. They cry because they’re hot, cold, hungry, thirsty, their diaper is full, their new clean diaper is empty and cold because the warm poo is gone, you picked them up, you didn’t pick them up, you didn’t pick them up correctly, the current situation has changed, the current situation has not changed, you are changing the situation, but not quickly enough, etc, etc.

My job? Be the parent. Be the adult. Know that I’ve got a bit more experience with this stuff than someone who hasn’t yet managed to not drool on a regular basis.

After that, the absolute best piece of advice to date was, when tragedy strikes (i.e., when their balloon pops), do not tell the child how it’s got to be. They don’t care. They are all about the immediate context. Whatever is happening is The Worst Possible Thing To Ever Happen In The History Of Their Tiny World. Don’t stand on the other side of the obstacle and say, “Stop crying, get through this obstacle, and come over to the reasonable and rational side.”

Instead, go over to their side, show them that you understand things are rough. Then figure out how you can both overcome the obstacle together. They gain understanding, thinking, and trust.

But maybe I just wasn’t taught the particular spanking tactic that both imparts knowledge and stops crying.